It can be hard to be assertive in any situation. Being open about your needs can be even more difficult. I have trouble being assertive and after bringing up this issue on group I decided to write out my concerns in an email. It might be the cowardly way to do it, but at least important things are being said. I need to know that this treatment is going to help before I continue. I am tired of trying things that don't work. I need someone on my team who is willing to try something new.
here is what I wrote to my counselor:
Hello Dr,
Sometimes I have trouble speaking my mind so I thought I
would try writing it down. I know we have only had two sessions together and
that it takes time to improve depression and anxiety but I have been trying to
do this for a long time now. I don’t seem to be getting much better. I am tired
of trying to fix things using the same tools and getting the same crappy
results.
Things I have tried in my efforts to
decrease depression.
Antidepressants: wellbutrin, celexa,
Prozac
Books: many including Feeling Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy By David D. Burns, M.D
Hope, Help,
and Healing for Eating Disorders: A New Approach to Treating Anorexia, Bulimia,
and Overeating by
Dr. Gregory L. Jantz and Ann Mcmurray
Counselors:
Dr Kaiser Charlottetown
EAP phone counselor
Paul Leger Counselor
Dr Kate Weaver Fredericton
Alternative Medicine:
Meditation
Hypnotism
Reiki
Orthomolecular
Tools:
Writing in a journal, multiple
variations
Affirmations
Deep breathing
Mental safe word
Mindfulness
Exercise
Support groups
Destructive tools:
Bulimia
Cutting, scratching, picking
Alcohol
Isolation
Suicidal thoughts
Nothing helps. I am tired and
frustrated. I only have $1000 in my health plan for counseling and I don’t want
to spend it trying the same ineffective things over again. I know I am a
difficult patient and before I continue I would like to know if you have any
more effective tools, skills or recommendations. I need a medication stronger
then the urge to drive my car into the river. A tool stronger then the urge to
binge and purge. A sleeping aid that is better than a bottle of liquor. I need medicine
that is going to make great changes, not infinitesimal ones. I can’t keep living like this, can you help
me, or know someone else who can?